Hot Pink
by itss-meggle3
Summary: Five words. Hot pink. Hair-dye. Near. -LOTS OF CUSSING, and shounen-ai...-
1. WallMart

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Matt awoke to a loud thud followed by a string of profanities. Mello was upside down off of the bed, head on the floor and feet where his pillows used to be, and was covered in a mess of sheets.

"Fuck this shit bed, this shit room, this whole shit _place_!! Y'know what? This is all Near's fuckin fault! If he wasn't here then I would be number one and i probably wouldnt be here in this shit room!!"

Mello had, suprisingly, gotten out of the tangled sheets and was now pacing in the middle of the room. Matt had seen the incident coming and now had his Ipod on, blasting music, and was playing pokemon on his Gameboy sp, completely ignoring the fuming blonde.

"MATT!! IT WOULD BE REAL FUCKIN NICE IF YOU LISTENED TO ME EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE!!"

Matt, of course, hadn't heard him and was happily pressing buttons on the gameboy. Mello stomped over to him, and once to his roommate's bed, he became suddenly calm. He sat on the edge of the bed and began leaning towards Matt.

"Matt, i'd suggst you listen to what i have to say or a certain redhead will not be waking up within 100 miles of this spot tomorrow." Mello said in a dangerously sweet voice.

Said redhead, had no idea whatsoever as to how mello would get him 100 miles away, but he didn't dare question. Instead he simply looked up curiously. Mello, not being one to plan ahead much, hadn't expected sarcastic Matt to even acknowledge that he was there, but to smirk and resume playing his game.

"You are now officially going to help me pull a prank on Near. Oh! and if we get caught, you take all the blame because you are an a-hole and you don't even listen to your friend's problems."

"Oh right... like Roger is going to believe that I would prank Near. I dont even really dislike Near, actually he's kinda cute... but not _cute_ cute, just little ki-"

"OUT! NOW!!"

"what?"

"NEAR IS _NOT_ CUTE! I DON'T EVER WANT TO HEAR THAT AGAIN!" Mello was offcially flipping a bitch.

"Will you stop hating me if we walk down to, like, wall-mart or something and get you some chocolate?"

"Chocolate _is_ better than... well... no chocolate..."

"Yeah. No shit, Sherlock!"

"Onwards to wall-mart then!!''

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Matt's POV

As me and Mello, or _Mello and I_... Gah! i need to stop hanging around Near! But anyways, as Mello and I neared the Wal-Mart parking lot, a truck full of teenage guys slowed down near us. First thought to my mind, a drive-by. I was terrified of guns! But i figured they wouldn't do anything illegal when they started making catcalls at Mello, but no promises that Mello wouldn't kill some people.

"I'm a fuckin GUY, dipshits!!!" Mello screamed.

When they heard his voice, which was way too deep to be a chick's, they muttered some things to each other and then sped off, running a red light. Mello smiled cruelly as we heard a siren in the distance.

"Serves the fuckers right!"

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"All they have here is shit chocolate... no Hershey's, nothing!!"

"Well they do have dark chocolate."

"Dark chocolate is like the left out, un-wanted type of chocolate... its like the Near of all chocolates. And i am officially milk chocolate, because im just cool dat way!"

"What would i be then? Is there like some secret stripey chocolate that i dont know of?" I questioned

"No, Matt. Because no one but you would think of chocolate with stripes. But you'd probably be like...caramel filled chocolate, or pocky... because pocky has chocolate on it... if its chocolate pocky, you're not the crappy strawberry kind!"

"Oooohhh! Pocky sounds good right now!"

''Matt ran off to go get pocky. How totally Matt-ish of him.'' Mello said.

As I strolled down the aisleways looking for pocky, something unusually shiny caught my eye, turns out it was a bottle of hairspray. No big deal right? Well next to that particular bottle of hairspray was a small hair dye kit... the last hot pink one left. Goodbye albino near, hello Mr. Pink-hair!! I took out my phone and scrolled through my phone book until finding Mello's number.

"Haiiiiiii Matty-kuuuuuunnnn!!!" Well that sure as hell wasn't Mello

"Shit! Sorry Misa! Wrong number!" I quickly hung up. Dont even ask why I had Misa's number in my phone.

I was sure I had the right number when I heard Mello's suggestive ringtone playing halfway across the store.

_'I can show you how to hump, with out making love._

_The way you look at me, I can tell that you're a fre-'_

"-ey. whassup?" He still hadn't changed his Hollywood Undead ringtone, not that I had a problem with that. I fuckin' love Hollywood Undead.

"Meet me by the... the hair shit..."

"MATT! Haven't you gotten the memo that guys dont buy girly stuff?!"

"Look whose talkin' _Princess!''_

"HEY! It is not my fault that the shitty employees at Macy's are fuckin' retards and put all of the badass clothes in the chick section!"

"You shop at _Macy's_?!?!" The call ended. Mello had hung up on him, although I had known that calling him 'princess' wouldn't make him happy. He was more like a princess at _that_ time of the month...

Mello quickly rushed over to the 'hair shit' section and found me. "Hi beauty queen!" Mello's voice was in such a girly tone that I nearly choked on the sushi sample I picked up on the way over. Mmmm California Rolls. They surely without a doubt make the world go round! That is, if videogames and cigarettes dissapeared...

"Uuuugggghhhh... i am hungry like a bitch!!" whined mello.

"Then go to the frozen foods and get something microvaveable..."

Mello and I were at the chekouts when out of the corner of his eye Mello spotted the McDonalds in the corner of the store "MCDONALDS!" Mello screamed like a little fat boy seeing a cookie. All of the checkout people for about 100 feet away stared at Mello, and then some people who earlier were near the candy aisle when Mello decided to just look over and see his heaven, looked like they wanted to call the cops... A giant grin formed across my face.

"Mello you are going to get as big as a hooker on 6th street with their fat hanging over their G-String. All you eat is McDonalds, and chocolate."

Mellos frantic smile quickly changed to a frown. He sent his hand down to his gun. "Matt you know I love you but don't make me use this! Wait... how would you know about those hookers?"

"Ummmmmmmm... LOOK MORE CHOCOLATE!!!" Mello's head turned toward to a large aisle of chocolate and he ran over like the little kid he was.

"MELLO! Get your ass back over here and pay for this crap because i spent all my money on your last chocolate savage!"

Mello's eyes quickly turned to a panic as he rushed over to pay for his chocolately treats, and Near's hot pink dye.

"250.75." The cashier said rather astounded. Her eyes were _huge._ Mello snickerd at the high total and quickly whipped out the money to cover his candy feast.

"Come on! Come on!" Mello said yanking me towards the McDonalds.

We were finally through the what seemed like a 4 mile long line and were at the counter.

"Sir what size fries would you like with your big mac and super size coke?" The cashier asked.

"I already have fries!" Mello said holding up the frozen bag of fries from the microwaveable section.

The cashier looked at him like he was only there to fool with her, yet she continued to go on with his order.

"Your total is $3.41." She said handing him his meal and reipet. Mello stuck his hand into his pockets and searched around for a while

until he finally yanked out $3.00.

"Matt would you be willing to loan your bestest most sexy beast friend in the world 50 cents?"I was annoyed but willingly handed Mello 50 cents.

"Love Ya!" Mello said pecking me on the cheek.

I blushed and stared down at my boots.

When I finally lifted my head again the cashier was staring at me like liking guys was like being a felon... But i was a felon...

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**A.N. This is only chapter one, if you like it then REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!! If i dont know that anyone likes it, then theres no point in writing it... So all reviewers get free invisible virtual cupcakes!! ^-^ -Hannah**


	2. Fluff

A couple of weeks earlier...

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Mello's POV

I stared at the mess of Coke cans and pizza boxes around the television as Matt played Super Mario Galaxy. This is usally how my mornings, or more appropriately, afternoons, begun. Matt would wake up at noon and begin playing videogames and I would awake shortly after to find his eyes glued to the television screen.

"Uuuuaaaahhhhh... I need chocolate." I dragged myself over to the mini-refrigerator, opening it only to find some Oreos, a 12-pack of Coke, and some Graham crackers.

"Maaaaaaattttttttttttttt!!! Graham crackers do _not_ need to be refrigemerated, or whatever..." I whined.

"Unh-huh." Matt said, obviously too distracted by his game to form a coherent word, much less a sentence. I picked up the snack and threw it behind me in the general direction of Matt. There was a thump and the tinny music of his mario game stopped.

"Whoa. You actually paused your game for me!" I was in complete amazement.

"No I didn't. Whatever you threw hit my wii and turned it off. Dont be such a dick next time I just misplace something."

That fucker will pay dearly, very very dearly.

Matt defies all logic, ya can't live with him, and you _definitely_ can't live without him. He does nothing but eat and sit around and watch a tv screen all day yet he is so skinny its unhealthy. He acts so cool yet is a total spaz. He's fucking amazing.

"So, _i'm_ the dick? Well... then again..." I said playfully

"I am going to snap one of these days and like shoot everyone in this building except Near!"

"Why the fuck not _Near_?" Matt is _mine!_ If Near takes him away from me too then I'll be the one on the shooting spree!

"Heh, simply to spite you." Why that little_ bitch!!!_

Since he was presently laying on his stomach i put my foot on his back and pressed down. He let out a little yelp of suprise before grabbing my leg and digging his nails in, and _shit_, did it hurt!

I grabbed the back of the collar of his shirt and tugged and just when i forgot i was stepping on him he flipped himself over and i fell down on top of him.

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Matt's POV

Mello's face was burning red with anger as he fell on top of me. He was pretty heavy, but lighter than the average fourteen year old. He grabbed my hair and yanked my face toward his, so close that our noses just barely touched. I was sooo fucking dead. He looked like he was about to explode in a fit of rage, probably breaking everything within a couple hundred meters. His face turned even redder (if that was even possible) and then mashed his lips against mine. Wait, _what?_

I mean i always suspected he liked me but i thought it was just, like, teenage hormones or whatever. And actually, he was pretty hot...

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Present ^-^

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Mello's POV

"Soooooooooooooooooooooo... who wants to dye some hair?!" Matt asked as we opened the hair dye package.

"Oooh! Oooh! Pick me!" I joked.

I had already acomplished the task of staling Near's shampoo and getting Near away from the shower for a while, which was quite a bit harder and included a bunch of new toys and a lollipop.

Matt was stirring the contents of the hair dye into the bottle of shampoo. I couldn't help but grin at the sight and I started to daydream about events involving Near begging and pleading for mercy and giving me a lifetime supply of chocolate and tangible glory, in the form of more chocolate.

We took the bottle of shampoo/hair dye and snuck downstairs to the 2nd floor, where Near's room was. Matt easily picked the lock and we were in a totally white room, stuffed animals and transformers lined the walls while there was a huge blank puzzle in the middle of the room, and poking out from under his sheets was...

"Holy fuck!!! Near reads Playboy?!?!"

There was, infact, a playboy magazine hidden in his bed.

"Ummmmmm... Matt? Thats yours. You left that in here when we came and took the shampoo bottle remember? You wanted to trick Roger into thinking he read playboy..."

"OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!! i remember!"

Gawd... Matt can be sooo stupid sometimes.

We put the shampoo bottle back where it belonged and ran out of the room giggling and snorting. Well... Matt was snorting. When we got back to our room i figured that Near wasn't going to go shower soon, considering I _did_ buy him a _lot_ of toys. I guess ill just take a small nap... i did get up at 6 this morning.

"Uuuuaaaaaahhhhhhhh..." i yawned and curled up in my bed.

I was about half asleep when i was jolted awake by a scream coming from downstairs.

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**A.N. Hahaha cliffy much? sorry for the fluffyness the beginning... i couldnt help myself! ^^ btw, reviews are always luvved! -Hannah :D**


	3. Lots to drink haha

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Mello's POV

I ran down the hallway, giggling all the while. It was too crazy to even imagine! Near with pink hair! Holy shit! I couldn't get down the steps fast enough. I skidded to a halt at the bottom of the steps to see Claire, one of the only girls at the orphanage that I dont want to punch in the face, staring wide eyed into Near's room. This was it. The official best day of my life! I rounded the corner to see... OH MY FUCKING GAWD!!! It was _perfect_! Near's hair was the brightest shade of pink I had ever seen! I was laughing so hard that tears came to my eyes, i could hardly breathe but holy shit was it _awesome!_ Claire just stood there holding back laughter, kudos to her! That's somthing I couldn't do in a million years, if you'd exuse my cliche.

Matt stumbled into the hall holding his stomach and laughing so hard he was turning red, and he hadn't even seen the best part! He was laughing so hard he looked almost drunk... oh wait... _thats_ what that bottle was! Shit.

"Hay! Neeeaarrr! Youuuusss gotsa purty hair tharr, yesh yew do!"

Oh god... keeping this from Roger was going to be fucking impossible. Matt fell flat on his face before getting up and acting as if it was perfectly normal, although i guess it was seeing he had to go down a flight of stairs to get here.

Near just looked questioningly at us before politely shutting the door and going to look at his hair. There was a faint gasp before Near returned to the door looking rather embarrased. He said somethign along the lines of 'please excuse me' and slammed the door.

"Awwwww Ne-yurrrr don laik usshhh no mooorreee..." Matt slurred.

"You need to go up to our room and _stay there..._" I said sternly.

We walked, well i walked, Matt kinda stumbled, up the stairs and into our room where i tossed Matt onto the couch. He attempted to get up but only suceeded in falling on his face, much like me a couple of days ago.

"Cudja heelllppp mehhh up?"

"Now why would I ever do that?" I was sarcastic, but Matt was too wasted to notice.

"Dawwwww... I thawt yew wurrr mah buddddeh..." Matt looked hurt, but it was hard to tell through his drunken facial expressions.

"Its called sarcasm, Matt." I said as i helped him up. An awkward silence followed, considering I dragged him up into a semi-intimate position.

"Well arrrunt wee feeeiiishtey?" Hahaha, very funny.

"Now's not the time, Matt..."

"Plllleeeeaassshhhh?" he had leaned over and was now inches away from me.

"Jesus Christ Matt!! Your breath _reeks!" _

"Yewww mean jeevas chrissst nowww donsha?" He joked

"Yeah whatever, just go brush your teeth or something!"

He stumbled and tripped until he was safely into the bathroom. I heard something fall to the ground and break, and I heard something bump into the cabinets beneath the sink, we were probably out of toothpaste. Dammit! Matt always covers his toothbrush in it instead of using a normal amount, and with him drunk... it was probably best we didnt have any toothpaste, I can treat a gun wound but not a toothpaste overdose.

"I cuudn't find _my_ toofthbrrushhhhh, so ah uusedd yerrs." He stated proudly.

Well fuck it all!

"GODDAMNIT MATT!!!" I am _not_ going out to the store tonight, and you are _not nearly_ fit to drive."

Yeah. We were just soo cool that we drive when we're 14, and once, when we got pulled over and the cops asked to see our lisences, we pulled the 'we're just orphans' trick and got off free!

I took out my phone and dialed Claire's number.

_'I am running out of words to say to you, wondering why im wasting my tii-"_

"Hello?" I kinda liked her Nevershoutnever little ringy thing... y'know, instead of the dull ringing when you call her you get to listen to a catchy song!

"Hey! Umm, could you run down to the quickie-mart and get some toothpaste for me?"

"Ummm... Do i want to know why?"

"Well y'see... Matt is obviously totally wasted and his breath smells like utter _shit_, and we're out of toothpaste." I explained

"Oh, sure! Gimme about 20 minutes!" She said and hung up. She was my best friend besides Matt, She was always so cheery.

As she said, about 20 minutes later there was a knock at the door.

I opened it up and Claire walked by me and into the room, although she did that every time she came up and it was actually kinda cute, like in the little kid way. Actually, she was pretty cute in the 'hot' way. She had short light brown hair, and bright blue eyes which seemed to always sparkle with excitement. She always dressed really sporty, with like tank tops and athletic shorts, but she was pretty lazy when it came right down to it, and she always wore those Cristofer Drew-ish stretchy headbands, which she could totally pull off. And she had that little girl personality too, she sucked her thumb when she got nervous and had lots of stuffed animals. If I wasn't with Matt, I would totally ask her out.

"Hii you guys!!"

"Hayyy girrlieee! Yew gotshhhh me summfinnn?"

"HAHAHAHAHA!!! You're sooo wasted!!" she was doubled over laughing and Matt just looked at her in confusion. This was going to be a weird night...

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**Heehee! I lurrves me sum drunk Matt! Slurring is so fun to type!! **

**OMG! does any one of my lurvely reviewers know how to make cat ears, bcuz im doing a Natsuo cosplay for Halloween and Ikkicon, and all I need is ears!**

**Much Luvvs! ^^ -Hannah**


	4. Mistake

* * *

Mello's POV

"Okay. I got your toothpaste you asked for, and i figured you needed a new toothbrush, so i got you that too!" Claire stated proudly.

"Well arunnt chuuu schweett??"

"Matt. Shut up before i hurt you." He was seriously pissing me off.

He mumbled some weird slurred shit and then crossed his arms and pouted. He was so immature...

Claire was just standing there giggling and poking Matt's cheek and watching him get annoyed. It was extremely fun. I should know.

Knock. Knock.

Near walked in and handed me my some shampoo. "Roger got it for you." he said and then walked out, shutting the door softly behind him.

"Ohohoho hells yes!" Chocolate shampoo, bitch! "I'm showering! Claire, make sure Matt doesn't like, rape me or anything. God knows what he'll do when drunk..."

She just giggled and nodded.

I turned on the shower and stripped down. (Hahaha... no driscriptions ^-^) I got into the stream of water and cringed slightly at the heat. I loved hot showers though. I washed up quickly and used my delicious shampoo. The water was still hot so i just relaxed for a bit, but eventually i got tired of standing and got out. The mirror was fogged up, so i couldn't see my totally gorgeous self. (total Mello moment.) I dried off and changed into some black boxers and a black shirt and walked out.

"Well Mewwo looksh awfulleeee purrttty tuuh-daaiiii"

"OH MY GOD. MELLO. LOOK AT YOUR HAIR."

"The mirror was all fogged up. i cant. why?"

I swear to god if that little albino freak did anything to my awesome hair i will beat his little sheepy ass!

"uhmm... heehee... i dont know... if i should... heh... tell you..."

"TELL ME NOW!"

"HAHAHA uhmm... your hair..."

"Yeah??"

Its... heeheehee... pink...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"NEAR! That little penguin bitch is sooo dead!! I will take his insides and shove them down his throat! I will slowly cut off all of his limbs! I will make him drown in the school's cafeteria food! I will-OW!!" I kicked the wall a bit too hard...

I stomped down the hall and a flight of stairs until i was at his room. I barged in and grabbed his throat.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?!"

" Well, I thought you needed the hair dye for som reasoin or another, so i put it in your shampoo for you."

"You knew damn well that i wasn't going to dye my hair!"

"I honestly thought you were going to use it. you like your hair girly anyways, so what better than pink hair?"

"I am not going around looking like that little Tokyo Mew Mew bitch!!"

I punched Near and stormed out down the hallway, i heard snickering from down the hall, but if someone here died, i would be in _shitloads_ of trouble...

I barged into my room again and walke dup to Claire and told her to go get me some blond hair dye from the store, she agreed, giggling all the while.

"Matt. Bed. Now." i ordered him.

"Awww... yew haaatess meehh..."

"I dont hate you. Youre just beyond drunk..."

"Haaahhhh... Beeeeyonnnd... Liaaiik BB..."

"That's not funny at all..."

"Yeesshhh itt friiggnn iisshh"

"Bed."

"Dayyummmm..."

After a while of watching South park reruns, Claire came in and handed me a box with a picture of a scantily clad chick with long blonde hair.

"It's called 'Golden Fantasy'' She said, smirking.

"Fuck you."


End file.
